Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
