is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
