on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
