dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
