I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
