too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
