Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
