Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
