She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
