what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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