Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I love you.
Bad choice
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
