everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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