apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
