My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
