why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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