I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
