so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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