tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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