when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
