the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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