The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize