i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
