I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Houston, we have a squirter
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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