Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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