I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
