Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
