3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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