she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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