i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
