did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
