Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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