My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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