I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
