it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
