what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My vagina is officially offended.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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