you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
