Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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