Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
