So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
