Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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