I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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