I want to walk on stilts...naked
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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