We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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