Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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