take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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