you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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