Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
