You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
