Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
