there's paper in my vomit.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
