great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
